Article by Marie C. Barrett
Marie C. Barrett, author, teacher and spiritual coach, is working for the transformation of consciousness on the planet. An expanded consciousness is forming and higher energies call to every heart. For more information go to http://www.holisticwealthcreation.com and Marie’s blog at http://www.holisticwealthcreation.com/blog.
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Until recently, social scientists had little understanding of the implications that warm family relationships have in almost every area of life. But today a mass of research has been conducted which demonstrates that loving family relationships promote mental health, happiness, physical health, and even long-term vital energy. These are just the benefits that adults enjoy.
For children, a close knit family is even more important.
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Several years ago a group of social scientists studied the heart disease rate among some Philadelphia residents. The area they studied was a high-risk residence for heart disease. There was a lot of noise, air pollution, poor dietary habits, and the individualistic struggle for “more.” As a result, the heart disease rate in that area was extremely high.
However, the researchers located a group of recent Italian-American emigrants to America, now living in this high-risk area, whose heart disease rate was very low lower in fact, than the national average. At first the reason for this was obscure. All the men were overweight; the diets were very high in cholesterol; they all lived in a high-risk area. But the thing that stood out among the Italian-Americans was the warm, loving family relationships they all enjoyed.
Several years later the researchers went back to this community to gather follow-up data. Interestingly, they found only one important change since the first time they visited: the Italian-American family system had become less closely knit and loving. These people had adopted the practices and attitudes of those around them: success at any cost, family schisms, divorce, and quarrels. And as a result their heart disease rate had increased until it was higher than that among members of the community as a whole.
There is a power in a loving family relationship that is similar to the power of God’s love. It can prolong life and even ward off diseases. A team of psychologists recently administered a battery of personality tests and life history questionnaires to a group of cancer patients at several hospitals. They then compared the cancer patients (they all had tumors, to be exact) with a matched sample of people the same age but without tumors. The one difference between the two groups that stood out was this:-the cancer patients consistently had come from homes marked by divorce and unhappiness. Certainly love is a powerful force if it can make us more resistant to disease. And the most important place where love can (or should) be found is in the home.
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If you are unconvinced of the important implications that loving family relationships have for vital energy, consider the results of research comparing married men with single, divorced, and widowed men. When compared with those three groups, married men, it was found, commit suicide less often, are less susceptible to mental illnesses and neuroses, have a much lower heart disease rate, and live to be a lot older. But the advantages don’t stop there. Married men are also more energetic and productive. Married students, for example, earn higher grades than single students, even when the latter are more intelligent. Married men work harder, earn more money, are more punctual, pay their debts on time more often, and are generally more stable. Not surprisingly, married men report that they are happier than single men.
So if you want to be productive, energetic, healthy, and emotionally stable, and if you want to live to a ripe old age, take pains to insure that your family relationships are strong and loving. It will pay you great dividends in vital energy.
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Because of our changing world and values, many families do not live close enough to each other to see each other on a regular basis. “Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go,” as stated in the old song, happens less and less. Studies have shown overwhelmingly that families with close generational contact are better off in many areas than those who are more isolated from each other. We will look closer at some of those areas.
Help During Hardship
Families that are near and involved with each other regularly offer a secure and encouraging environment for all members. Life brings with it many challenges, and family unity should not be underestimated. With it comes support, comfort, love, sacrifice and tangible assistance. Family provides understanding on an intimate level, as members truly know and understand each other’s needs, desires and fears. Advice and direction are more readily accepted because of the knowledge that intentions are heart felt and well meaning. Families that live a long distance from each other often have to try to find this kind of support from outside sources.
Extended family provide a better network for meeting needs and members are trusted. Dr. Vern Bengtson, professor of gerontology and sociology at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles stated, “Multi-generational bonds represent a valuable resource for families in the 21st century and are becoming more important than nuclear family ties for well-being and support over the course of our lives.” He continued, “Intergenerational and extended family relationships not only create a sense of identity but, even today, are a valuable resource for exchanging information, services and goods.” This is a two way street. Older family members also receive needed help, as well as provide help to younger members of the family.
Teaching Values
Nothing influences children the way their family members do. Families that do not live in close proximity to their extended family do not get the benefit of this generational advantage regularly. It is harder to build a strong foundation of morals and values when you are doing it alone. Extended family involvement in children’s lives on a regular basis reinforces parental teachings by accountability and example. Influence seems greatest in the grandparent / grandchild relationship, but other extended family members also influence children. One reason for this is that many families have two working parents, and grandparents are involved with child care on a daily basis.
Staying Healthy
University of Southern California in LosAngeles study also shows that extended family relationships can help you to live longer and stay healthier. “We have seen evidence that an increased degree of positive contact with family can add years to your life,” points out Dr. Bengtson. This is true in both grandparent / parent and grandparent / grandchild relationships. Some studies have shown that those with extended family relationships also tend to be more successful in their personal lives and emotionally.
As the distance grows between the generations, the strong foundation of family and “where we came from” is being lost. Family identity and the values that come with it are becoming a thing of the past. No family is perfect, thank goodness it doesn’t have to be! But the benefit of regular contact of family members is enormous. However, it does require sacrifice and commitment and must be a priority when making life’s decisions.
Sources:
http://bjsw.oxfordjournals.org /cgi/pdf_extract/5/1/117
http://www.conquering-stressfu l-family-hurdles.com/importanc e-of-family.html
http://www.enctoday.com/articl es/family-318-relationships-fa milies.html
http://www.hartnellchanot.co.u k/just-mums/being-a-good-mum/t he-importance-of-extended-fami ly.html
http://www.grandparenting.org/ long-distance,htm.htm
http://www.answers.com/topic/e xtended-family
http://www.buzzle.com/editoria ls/9-9-2002-26044.asp
Written by PennyHowington
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