Because of our changing world and values, many families do not live close enough to each other to see each other on a regular basis. “Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go,” as stated in the old song, happens less and less. Studies have shown overwhelmingly that families with close generational contact are better off in many areas than those who are more isolated from each other. We will look closer at some of those areas.
Help During Hardship
Families that are near and involved with each other regularly offer a secure and encouraging environment for all members. Life brings with it many challenges, and family unity should not be underestimated. With it comes support, comfort, love, sacrifice and tangible assistance. Family provides understanding on an intimate level, as members truly know and understand each other’s needs, desires and fears. Advice and direction are more readily accepted because of the knowledge that intentions are heart felt and well meaning. Families that live a long distance from each other often have to try to find this kind of support from outside sources.
Extended family provide a better network for meeting needs and members are trusted. Dr. Vern Bengtson, professor of gerontology and sociology at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles stated, “Multi-generational bonds represent a valuable resource for families in the 21st century and are becoming more important than nuclear family ties for well-being and support over the course of our lives.” He continued, “Intergenerational and extended family relationships not only create a sense of identity but, even today, are a valuable resource for exchanging information, services and goods.” This is a two way street. Older family members also receive needed help, as well as provide help to younger members of the family.
Teaching Values
Nothing influences children the way their family members do. Families that do not live in close proximity to their extended family do not get the benefit of this generational advantage regularly. It is harder to build a strong foundation of morals and values when you are doing it alone. Extended family involvement in children’s lives on a regular basis reinforces parental teachings by accountability and example. Influence seems greatest in the grandparent / grandchild relationship, but other extended family members also influence children. One reason for this is that many families have two working parents, and grandparents are involved with child care on a daily basis.
Staying Healthy
University of Southern California in LosAngeles study also shows that extended family relationships can help you to live longer and stay healthier. “We have seen evidence that an increased degree of positive contact with family can add years to your life,” points out Dr. Bengtson. This is true in both grandparent / parent and grandparent / grandchild relationships. Some studies have shown that those with extended family relationships also tend to be more successful in their personal lives and emotionally.
As the distance grows between the generations, the strong foundation of family and “where we came from” is being lost. Family identity and the values that come with it are becoming a thing of the past. No family is perfect, thank goodness it doesn’t have to be! But the benefit of regular contact of family members is enormous. However, it does require sacrifice and commitment and must be a priority when making life’s decisions.
Sources:
http://bjsw.oxfordjournals.org /cgi/pdf_extract/5/1/117
http://www.conquering-stressfu l-family-hurdles.com/importanc e-of-family.html
http://www.enctoday.com/articl es/family-318-relationships-fa milies.html
http://www.hartnellchanot.co.u k/just-mums/being-a-good-mum/t he-importance-of-extended-fami ly.html
http://www.grandparenting.org/ long-distance,htm.htm
http://www.answers.com/topic/e xtended-family
http://www.buzzle.com/editoria ls/9-9-2002-26044.asp
Written by PennyHowington
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